In Place of Something Better

So I've been working on a big blog post, one that is more thought out and prepared than most, but it's taking way too long so I'm going to post a sympathy blog, just so I can keep up with my self-determined quota.

I looked over a book recently. It seemed interesting at first glance, suggesting that it was a book about common phrases - their meanings and their origins. My interest soon turned into disappointment as the book proved to lack some of my favorite phrases. I will post these here and my understanding of what their meanings are and their origins. Why, you ask? To educate the masses, that's why.

"Blow this pop stand" (Can be used with 'Let's' or 'It's time to').
As seen on the semi-popular TV show Miami Vice. Meaning "To exit or remove oneself from a less than exciting location or environment." So next time you're bored or even if you just want to sound cool like me, you can use this phrase while exiting. Just don't use it when making small talk with an undercover police officer while holding a stick of dynamite next to a pop stand. Some of us learn those tough lessons so the rest of you don't have to...

"Too Hot to Trot"
Some people consider this to mean very attractive. Actually the phrase can be attributed to the early settlers in the Southern United States who would complain when the weather became too hot for their horses to run, this led to many a slow pursuits for bandits and other hooligans on horseback. It also was used in the American Civil War when it was too hot for people to catch dysentery, or at least it was too hot for them to show symptoms of the horrible disease (or was it a virus, or do disease and virus mean the same thing? If so, was it a bacterial infection then, and is that a virus too?)

"Keeping It Real"
To be authentic, true to oneself; to be cool. 'Nuff said. This phrase was stared by none other than myself. j/k. The "keeping it real" hysteria can be linked back to when, in our capitalist society, companies started creating similar products to original products, and the original products starting using the phrase "keeping it real" to prove that they were the authentic version of a highly processed food. Not to be confused with the phrase "Keeping it Seal" created by singer/songwriter Seal.

"Tru Dat" & "Word"
Phrase combination used by one or two parties. Used to signify agreement. Can be linked back to Algonquian nations of Native Americans, used when trading with English settlers.

"Good Times"

It is hard to pinpoint the exact moment in history when this phrase started, since, historically, there have been many "good times". In present day use, "Good Times" can be used not only in reference to good times, but also in reference to bad times such as "My Grandmother's finger exploded. Good times." When used in this form, the phrase "Good Times" establishes the end of a discussion on a topic. Since nothing else can be said about the event, "good times" establishes that no more needs to be said. Also used when reminiscing about "good times".

"True Story"
Similar to the historical roots and meaning of "good times". Can be used in place of "good times" when a listener seems to be skeptical about a given story, or to reinforce the use of "good times". Example: "My Grandmother's finger exploded - true story. Good times".

"He's/She's a Winner"
Winners have been around since the beginning of time, but it wasn't until the turn of the century that sarcasm was discovered, giving this phrase new meaning. If someone tells you that you are a "winner" and it's not your Grandmother/Father, Mother/Father, Significant other/other person who would lie to you, then it means you aren't a winner, you're actually the opposite. Listen to me, you no longer want to be a winner, it's no longer cool. You also don't want to be a loser because that's not cool either. You just want to never be defined as either a winner or a loser and you'll never be caught on someone's judgemental radar.

Finally!

Years of waiting and finally it's happened. I told all y'all, and no one believed me until some hackers brought out the truth:



Whatcha going to do now? All I knows, is that I've got my rifle and my crowbar ready! I do appreciate their use of "caution" instead of "Run You Mother Truckers!" (Maybe that's why many people still don't believe the message - it wasn't urgent enough or Samuel L. Jackson enough).

And just incase you didn't understand the first construction sign message, the hackers were nice enough to send this message too:


Pride is a terrible thing to waste, so stop being mad because you didn't see it coming. Don't be angry because I was right (like always). Haters have tasty brains - so you better stop hatin' or the zombies will get you first.

Promptly Rejected By Writing

Short on ideas? Want to try something new but don't know where to start? Too bad for you, it's a writer eat writer world out there. No one can help you. Do you think that if I didn't have any ideas I could just go up to a writer buddy of mine and be like "Dude, got any good ideas I can steal?" I would only do that if I was looking for a knife fight. So deal.

How do those statements make you feel? Hurt, angry? Ready to knife me? Good. Write it out. Or, if you don't like my prompt, check out these sites for more ideas:

Any writer, writing prompts:
http://www.creativewritingprompts.com/

http://www.writersdigest.com/WritingPrompts/

http://pymprompts.blogspot.com/

http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/

Fantasy writer, writing prompts:
http://dragonwritingprompts.blogspot.com/

http://forums.rofmagazine.com/forumdisplay.php?f=111

Words and statements as writing prompts:
http://theblob.org/raina/prompts/

Pictures as writing prompts:
http://www.1000wordsmeme.com/

Songs as writing prompts:


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To continue my book reading series:

I recently finished reading Grave's End by Elaine Mercado

This is an intruiging tale about a true ghost haunting. I was hoping that the end of the story would go more into the explanation of where the ghosts were from and why they were there, but the explanation was a little flat. It still was an interesting, and quick, read.

Word Power

When I say word power, I do not mean that the person with the most books or the most knowledge of words can use that power to take over the world (I know, this makes me cry too). What I mean, is that words have power. The pronunciation and the spelling of words holds a magic that cannot be described (ironically enough) in words.

My favorite word is aluminum, but only when pronounced as the British do, Al-oo-min-ee-um. Consider dialects in books and in your own writing. The appropriate pronuncation, when written out holds the magic to show a reader where that character is from without having to say he's Russian, or she's German. And, different pronunciations hold different power for words. When someone says: "sugar" it holds a different meaning than when someone says: "shug".

Spelling is important too. Trooth, (unlike Krab, being fake crab), is more troothy than "truth". When Jack Nicholson said "You can't handle the trooth!" in A Few Good Men, it held more power. If he had said "You can't handle the truth!" he surely wouldn't have received a nomintation for an Oscar for that role. If caught in a lie, you can always ask "Do you want the truth, or the trooth?" Usually people won't know the difference between the two, and will request the "truth", and since it's less troothy than trooth, you can tell them a weaker version of the trooth (just f.y.i.).

Another example of the power of words: In the olden days, okay, not the 80s, but the olden olden days (pre-1980's) Kings who suspected the poisoning of their drinks would say: "I'm rubber and you're glue, attempts made on my life bounce off me and stick to you." Upon speaking these words, poison would jump out of their cup and into the mouths of the one who poured it in the cup. Literally. I've seen it happen. And when I say poison I do not mean the band Poison because this is pre-1980's, I mean actual toxins that can kill you, kind of like what Bret Michaels is spreading around on his love shows...or so I hear...

Moving on. Word choice is very important. Do you every wonder why an author chose one descriptive word over another? Do you, as a writer, find yourself disgusted with your own word choices, wishing that you could find stronger words for your stories? Words should not be taken lightly, they hold a magic like no other (especially when describing magic) so choose your words wisely, especially when speaking or writing the trooth.

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Book Reading Bonanza update:

I recently finished Welcome to Hard Times by E.L. Doctorow. This is his first published novel. I enjoyed the description and the moral discussion that is created by the characters and their thoughts and actions. In this novel, a man named Blue watches the destruction of his town during the wild days of the American West. Unable to accept failure, and full of renewed hope, Blue - with good intentions - manipulates those around him to rebuild the town; bringing in new settlers and old wood. But some things never change, and some mistakes have to be made twice.

Naming Characters, the Great Debate.

Let me share an old courtroom transcript with you, to explore the debate of naming characters.

Jennifer v. Shakespeare
In the case of the importance of a name.


Jennifer: Let me toss some questions out there for the court.

Is your name important to you? If your name was Elektra, would you have a more exciting life, especially if you were male? We have the ability to legally change our name, because names are important to us, and we want to ensure we've got the right name, a name that is genuine to us, to who we want to be. So why not give your characters adequate names.

I mean, really, what's more important, the meaning of your character's name, the meaning of your baby's name? Obviously the character name is more important, but as a side note, something I've been wondering for a while; if your last name is Webster, Clay, Calhoun, or Lincoln are you obliged to name your child Daniel, Henry, John C. or Abraham respectively?

Back to the facts. Names are important, and the meaning behind them is important, so when you choose a name for your character, think about it, make it meaningful. Not only does this enrich your characters, but it deepens the meaning of your story and enhances your writing overall.

(Whereupon, Jennifer sits down and looks to Shakespeare.)

(Whereupon, Shakespeare stands, takes a drink of water and clears his throat.)

Shakespeare: The good people of the court must agree with me, when I say what's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. I have also said "The man that finds that his senses have precieved the stench of gruesome death, and to quethe this knowledge on the guests, surely he spoiled the party" (Current day context: He who smelt it, dealt it).

(Whereupon, the courtroom laughs.)

But that quote has nothing to do with this argument, it was merely used to make you all like me better and possibly vote for my side of the argument. But as a writer and a reader, I believe that an object or a person has substance beyond their name. You may call me Shakespeare or Steve and I will write the same, have the same wit, still get your vote, I am still the same man with or without my name.

(Whereupon, the case in the above-entitled matter was submitted.)

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As a side note: I'm working on reading more in 2009. So, I'm keeping a list on this blog showing what I've read this year. If you have any good book suggestions, bring them on (please one per person, and no suggestions like "everyone poops". I would enjoy something that will actually enrich my life). I will read at least 50 pages and if it still sucks, I will allow you another suggestion. Then, as the year goes on, I'll add finished books to my list and probably drop a line or two about the book at the end of a post.

Motivation

After missing my goal of having my last project edited a final time by 2009, I thought yet again about motivation and "writer's block". I am unmotivated by many things, one being work. Here is a fancy chart I made, while at work, to explain part of why I get no writing done (not included on chart is time spent making random charts):

If you're familiar with motivational charts, you've probably noticed that on most motivational charts for writers the portions dedicated to sleep and wrestling a bear would be switched, but bears are hard to come by in my neck of the woods, and all of the leg work necessary to even find a bear to wrestle makes it less appealing than sleep.

To get back to the main topic: If you're a writer and you work full time - Good luck to you, you probably will never be successful. I know that's a downer, but that's life - and no, there is no way around it.
Okay, so maybe that's a little extreme, so here are some options to consider when dealing with lack of motivation/"writer's block".

=>Take time off from your current project. Maybe a few weeks, or few months not writing will give your brain rest and allow you to start anew. But in my case, taking time off usually prolongs my lack of motivation, it doesn't really help.

=>Take the project in a new direction. Maybe your subconscious is stopping you because you are working your way to a dead end, and you need to rethink the plot so that your story will become what it is meant to be or whatever.

=> Work on a different project. Working on other story ideas, or other creative projects may rekindle your desire to work on the story that's stuck.

=> Get your life in order. It is possible that you are not motivated because you have other life issues that are haunting you when you try to sit down to write.

=> Re-prioritize. Maybe nothing is wrong with your life, as you see it, but you might be dedicating too much time to your miniature model-T sets, which not only strains your eyes, glues your fingers together, and expels fumes that give you flash backs from the 1880's; but also makes you too exhausted to finally sit down and finish the next great American novel.

Okay, you can't lose the job (or you'd be homeless) but you can cut down on bear wrestling (sorry bears, I know you love the "cuddles") and you can cut down on the miniature model-T's (sorry Henry Ford, or should I say Nazi Ford? That's right, I know your secrets Mr. Ford and I will share them with the world, once I get enough motivation to finish my novel!), that will allow you about 6 minutes and 43 seconds a day to work on that novel. If you type 50 words a minute and the average book is 80,000 words long (give or take 20,000ish), 50 over 60 equals .8333333333 words per second and you've got 403 seconds a day of writing time, carry the two, and you've got 335.833333333 words a day, divide 80,000 by that and in 238.2 days you'll have your first version (or rough draft) complete for your novel. So, about 6 years per novel. Should you quit now, maybe, that's not for me to judge. Does this scenario make you even less motivated?
Probably.
It definitely demotivated me.

Excuses

So I've been away, apparently hunting down time traveling perps gets busy during the holidays. And I guess it will continue to be time consuming (in more ways than one) for a bit of a while yet, so I'm going to leave you with a little tid-bit and hopefully by the beginning of next year I'll be able to drop some more knowledge on y'all about writing, reading and living in a world of fantasy.

I've got a beautiful holiday story for everyone. This should be told to many children, preferably at once (so they don't spoil the goodness of the tale), and hopefully on the night before Christmas:

Title: Here is the ultimate reason why you don't want to be left behind when the Rapture occurs.
(Don't worry I'm not a fanatic, this is just something that came to me in the quiet time between being awake and being asleep, call it a prophecy if you will, although I must insist I am not a religious fanatic I am just a fan of humor and I think this story is funny).

Okay, so you're sitting around one day, let's say you're at work and then everyone disappears, except for you. Apparently it's the Rapture and you've been left behind. Instead of getting upset, you decide that this is what you've always been waiting for, ultimate reign over the earth. First, you must commandeer an abandoned S.U.V. this will allow you the flexibility to drive around all of the other abandoned vehicles on the street and make it to your nearest supermarket to get supplies. These supplies are actually lots and lots of food, because you are a glutton and that is why you've been left behind. While you are driving to the store you come upon the first of other creatures who have turned away from God. It's a Tyrannosaurus Rex. You think you've outwitted him, and you still feel confident that being left behind is the best thing ever but as you get to your local food depot you find that the automatic doors have been unwittingly mastered by a raptor. The only option for you is to ram your way into the store with your S.U.V. and run over the raptor - about 15 times to make sure he's dead (filling the front end of your auto with raptor guts which really increase your appetite as they cook on the hot metal engine) and drive on, expecting more dinos to appear as they catch the smell of blood. You drive down each aisle and just roll down your window for your supplies and make your way out of the store with lots of food, a little bit of extra clothing and other various supplies. You drive home to your small apartment, rush your stuff into the building and begin removing doors within your apartment to barricade your windows, you know it's going to be a long haul, and you want to be safe until the very end. By nightfall, and 2 packages of Oreos later, you hear something outside your window, you check to see what it is through a very small crack in your barricade. It's not a dinosaur, but another one of God's forsaken, a zombie. Luckily you've blocked yourself in, but for how long can you survive? As you consider which is worse, death by dino or death by zombie another creature appears outside. An alien, zapping zombies left and right, he's come to take you to his planet where you will become his lifelong slave. Now, I ask, why couldn't you just love God like everyone else?