Tuesday, December 30, 2008


After missing my goal of having my last project edited a final time by 2009, I thought yet again about motivation and "writer's block". I am unmotivated by many things, one being work. Here is a fancy chart I made, while at work, to explain part of why I get no writing done (not included on chart is time spent making random charts):
If you're familiar with motivational charts, you've probably noticed that on most motivational charts for writers the portions dedicated to sleep and wrestling a bear would be switched, but bears are hard to come by in my neck of the woods, and all of the leg work necessary to even find a bear to wrestle makes it less appealing than sleep.
To get back to the main topic: If you're a writer and you work full time - Good luck to you, you probably will never be successful. I know that's a downer, but that's life - and no, there is no way around it.
Okay, so maybe that's a little extreme, so here are some options to consider when dealing with lack of motivation/"writer's block".

=>Take time off from your current project. Maybe a few weeks, or few months not writing will give your brain rest and allow you to start anew. But in my case, taking time off usually prolongs my lack of motivation, it doesn't really help.

=>Take the project in a new direction. Maybe your subconscious is stopping you because you are working your way to a dead end, and you need to rethink the plot so that your story will become what it is meant to be or whatever.

=> Work on a different project. Working on other story ideas, or other creative projects may rekindle your desire to work on the story that's stuck.

=> Get your life in order. It is possible that you are not motivated because you have other life issues that are haunting you when you try to sit down to write.

=> Re-prioritize. Maybe nothing is wrong with your life, as you see it, but you might be dedicating too much time to your miniature model-T sets, which not only strains your eyes, glues your fingers together, and expels fumes that give you flash backs from the 1880's; but also makes you too exhausted to finally sit down and finish the next great American novel.

Okay, you can't lose the job (or you'd be homeless) but you can cut down on bear wrestling (sorry bears, I know you love the "cuddles") and you can cut down on the miniature model-T's (sorry Henry Ford, or should I say Nazi Ford? That's right, I know your secrets Mr. Ford and I will share them with the world, once I get enough motivation to finish my novel!), that will allow you about 6 minutes and 43 seconds a day to work on that novel. If you type 50 words a minute and the average book is 80,000 words long (give or take 20,000ish), 50 over 60 equals .8333333333 words per second and you've got 403 seconds a day of writing time, carry the two, and you've got 335.833333333 words a day, divide 80,000 by that and in 238.2 days you'll have your first version (or rough draft) complete for your novel. So, about 6 years per novel. Should you quit now, maybe, that's not for me to judge. Does this scenario make you even less motivated?
It definitely demotivated me.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


So I've been away, apparently hunting down time traveling perps gets busy during the holidays. And I guess it will continue to be time consuming (in more ways than one) for a bit of a while yet, so I'm going to leave you with a little tid-bit and hopefully by the beginning of next year I'll be able to drop some more knowledge on y'all about writing, reading and living in a world of fantasy.

I've got a beautiful holiday story for everyone. This should be told to many children, preferably at once (so they don't spoil the goodness of the tale), and hopefully on the night before Christmas:

Title: Here is the ultimate reason why you don't want to be left behind when the Rapture occurs.
(Don't worry I'm not a fanatic, this is just something that came to me in the quiet time between being awake and being asleep, call it a prophecy if you will, although I must insist I am not a religious fanatic I am just a fan of humor and I think this story is funny).

Okay, so you're sitting around one day, let's say you're at work and then everyone disappears, except for you. Apparently it's the Rapture and you've been left behind. Instead of getting upset, you decide that this is what you've always been waiting for, ultimate reign over the earth. First, you must commandeer an abandoned S.U.V. this will allow you the flexibility to drive around all of the other abandoned vehicles on the street and make it to your nearest supermarket to get supplies. These supplies are actually lots and lots of food, because you are a glutton and that is why you've been left behind. While you are driving to the store you come upon the first of other creatures who have turned away from God. It's a Tyrannosaurus Rex. You think you've outwitted him, and you still feel confident that being left behind is the best thing ever but as you get to your local food depot you find that the automatic doors have been unwittingly mastered by a raptor. The only option for you is to ram your way into the store with your S.U.V. and run over the raptor - about 15 times to make sure he's dead (filling the front end of your auto with raptor guts which really increase your appetite as they cook on the hot metal engine) and drive on, expecting more dinos to appear as they catch the smell of blood. You drive down each aisle and just roll down your window for your supplies and make your way out of the store with lots of food, a little bit of extra clothing and other various supplies. You drive home to your small apartment, rush your stuff into the building and begin removing doors within your apartment to barricade your windows, you know it's going to be a long haul, and you want to be safe until the very end. By nightfall, and 2 packages of Oreos later, you hear something outside your window, you check to see what it is through a very small crack in your barricade. It's not a dinosaur, but another one of God's forsaken, a zombie. Luckily you've blocked yourself in, but for how long can you survive? As you consider which is worse, death by dino or death by zombie another creature appears outside. An alien, zapping zombies left and right, he's come to take you to his planet where you will become his lifelong slave. Now, I ask, why couldn't you just love God like everyone else?