Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Living a Slow Life

On occasion, I consider where I'm "at" in life. I think about what I've accomplished and what I wish I had already completed at this point. When I get really negative about stuff my brain tries to say that my life is "bad" but I logically know that's incorrect. The more I've been pondering this idea of what a "bad" life is the more I understand that my life isn't "bad" (for a multitude of reasons) but it feels bad sometimes because frankly, it's slow.

I haven't achieved nearly any of the things I thought I would by this point. As a kid I thought by now I'd be married, I'd own my own home, I'd have a profitable career as a writer, and I'd have multiple books published. I seriously thought those things would be easy and doable by 30.

Clearly, I didn't have the life experience, nor did I know myself well enough to understand my own limitations to ultimately make a better prediction of when and how my life goals would be reached. Also, those goals have shifted a bit over the years from the ones I had as a child which clearly child me could not have accounted for.

Adult me should be disappointed that child me wasn't the greatest predictor of adult me's successes and failures. 

But some days I really am disappointed. So I try to remind myself that being behind on some sort of life plan doesn't make my life "bad," waiting a few more years to achieve goals doesn't make my life "bad," being a different person than who I expected to be still doesn't make my life "bad."

My path is a slow path, I live a slow life. I will eventually get the things I'm aiming for but it will be a lot slower than I expected and I have to accept that or go crazy trying.

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