Saturday, February 16, 2013
Just Some Thoughts
Examining our internet culture one comes to believe that Validation is the main motivator and desire of most humans. The validation monster is not lost on writers. I've known a lot of talented individuals who gave up on their writing dreams because they did not receive the validation they desired. But why do we care so much what others think? Why do we spend so much of our time seeking someone to approve of what we do, someone to make us feel like what we do is awesome and that we are important? And in many cases it's not just one someone but many someones. I don't have any answers for this. In my own experience I oscillate between being confident in myself and my abilities and wondering if my successes/awesomeness is fake since it often goes unwitnessed/unvalidated by others. I see any shake in my confidence as a shallow response to a world consumed by the need for validation; but maybe it's truly part of the human condition. Does the chimpanzee feel less if he makes a tool and no one witnesses it, probably not. So why do humans have to put their life on display in the hopes of getting a positive response from individuals they've never met? Maybe it's because of how rare it is to get positive responses from individuals we know. Everyone is so consumed with their own issues they don't reach out and support one another, they don't notice one another, they don't validate one another. I know those that surround me try their best to support me and I hope I return the favor but maybe I'm so caught up in my own issues that I don't. If only we spent as much time looking to one another and building the confidence of our friends and loved ones as we spend pining away in silence wishing strangers would notice us and boost us up. I know people aren't born with deep and unaltered pools of confidence, it's something we learn to build or spend a lifetime looking for. I also know that so many writers and other creative types have given up because of the lack of validation they perceived from strangers. Rejection is hard, but your dreams are worth fighting for. Even if it means fighting against the voices in your head that tell you you're no good without the validation of strangers.