The Year of Yes

I’m sure most of you are familiar with this sort of “experiment.” Taking a certain amount of time and dedicating it to being open, to turning away from automatic “no’s,” and saying “yes” as often as possible. It’s not a new concept but it’s still a good one if you, like me, shy away from opportunities out of fear.

Now I’m not knocking fear, it has its purposes, but it can also easily take over your life. As writers, we can become very exclusionary. We spend time alone, we don’t like to break our habits, and we will take small guaranteed successes over risking any success at the chance of an epic win. There’s also a lot of fear or rejection that runs deep in writers. That fear keeps us from sharing work, from putting our stuff out there, and from putting ourselves out there.

You, like me, might get to a point where you say “enough is enough you stupid fear monster, leave me alone!”(Or something to that effect.) And you want to change things about yourself, and your feelings, and your life. But where do you start? How do you get out of the fear cycle? You start by saying “yes.”

Don’t let those what-ifs trip you up. Think about the end game. You want to live a fuller life; you don’t want the fear monster eating your dreams. You want to seize the day and find greater success in all aspects of your life including your writing. While you still need a level of consideration when offered opportunities (don’t go jumping off bridges), you also need to say yes to as many things you say no to, if not more.

While this idea can be applied to all facets of our lives, when considering the writing experience think about the things you’ve said no to. Are there publications you’ve avoided submitting to? Is there a story you want to write but keeping yourself you can’t do it? Are there readings you’ve considered participating in but are afraid to get up on the stage? Don’t let the fear monster take these experiences away from you. While fear is always a formidable foe, finding success in the ways you want to is always worth fighting your demons. You are in charge of your destiny, of your success, of your writing. Look at the things you’ve been saying no to. Consider if that pesky no is holding you back and keeping you from attaining your dreams. Then go out, brave the world, and start saying yes.  

Rejection

Just got my first rejection from a serious publisher. Now just to be clear, this is not the first time my work has been rejected so maybe that's why it's not really fazing me. I know it's something all writers face and probably everything that can be said on the matter has been said but I figured I'd share my experience anyways. I sent a query letter to Ace last April. In November, I received a response requesting the full manuscript. A week ago I received the formal rejection. It's hard not to look at it like a year down the drain, but I'm still resilient. My co-author and I are going back to the drawing board and accessing which publisher we want to send it to next. It's hard not to get a little frustrated when you think about if it will take a year with each publisher and if it will take 10 publishers or more before someone wants it. I mean, if it takes 10 years to publish that would be insane. I'll still write because it's impossible for me not to but I might give up on trying to get published after 10 years of rejections.

Anyways, I've also been researching the social media practices of authors I admire and I went to the website of Moira J. Moore, author of the Lee and Taro series, and found something interesting (and related). While Ace had been publishing her series (or at least the first 5 out of 6 books), the decided not to publish the 6th/final book. I think it would almost be worst to be picked up by a publisher only to have them drop my series halfway through completion. Hearing about her situation gave me some perspective. I know that publishers are having a hard time staying profitable and while "marketing" was listed as a reason not to publish my book; perhaps Ace is having trouble making even already published series profitable and not willing to take risks with new concepts/books/authors. Well, unless they appear to be the next Harry Potter series.

Lastly, Moira is sharing her 6th book of her series on her website for free (or for donation if you have the money and are willing to part with it). http://moiraj.livejournal.com/ While I'm not a fan of reading the last book in a series, first, knowing it's online for free might prompt people to start reading the entire series. And maybe that's how it will end up being for me as well. Like I said, I'll always write, but I won't spend the rest of my life fighting publishers to finally publish my stuff. Sure, I'll try a couple more and see if someone wants what I've got, but maybe it'll come down to publishing it myself or giving it away for free. Stories were meant to be read, profit or not.

Just Some Thoughts

Examining our internet culture one comes to believe that Validation is the main motivator and desire of most humans. The validation monster is not lost on writers. I've known a lot of talented individuals who gave up on their writing dreams because they did not receive the validation they desired. But why do we care so much what others think? Why do we spend so much of our time seeking someone to approve of what we do, someone to make us feel like what we do is awesome and that we are important? And in many cases it's not just one someone but many someones. I don't have any answers for this. In my own experience I oscillate between being confident in myself and my abilities and wondering if my successes/awesomeness is fake since it often goes unwitnessed/unvalidated by others. I see any shake in my confidence as a shallow response to a world consumed by the need for validation; but maybe it's truly part of the human condition. Does the chimpanzee feel less if he makes a tool and no one witnesses it, probably not. So why do humans have to put their life on display in the hopes of getting a positive response from individuals they've never met? Maybe it's because of how rare it is to get positive responses from individuals we know. Everyone is so consumed with their own issues they don't reach out and support one another, they don't notice one another, they don't validate one another. I know those that surround me try their best to support me and I hope I return the favor but maybe I'm so caught up in my own issues that I don't. If only we spent as much time looking to one another and building the confidence of our friends and loved ones as we spend pining away in silence wishing strangers would notice us and boost us up. I know people aren't born with deep and unaltered pools of confidence, it's something we learn to build or spend a lifetime looking for. I also know that so many writers and other creative types have given up because of the lack of validation they perceived from strangers. Rejection is hard, but your dreams are worth fighting for. Even if it means fighting against the voices in your head that tell you you're no good without the validation of strangers.