Wowza

So it Friday. And it's my last day of work.

Not for the week.

For ever.
And ever.

I guess I haven't processed all of the emotions yet. I just feel like a jerk. Exactly like I did when I gave my notice 4 weeks ago. Exactly like I do whenever I let people down (or at least I believe I've let them down).

But the library will continue on without me, and I'll find new adventures and other things to love/hate.

After 7.5 (yes I have to include the .5) years, leaving is a big change. I don't know what I'll do with the free time between now and when I get a new job. I don't know how I'll deal without all the crazies (most of whom have magically made an appearance today of all days, or so it feels like).

It's always strange finding out how much you mean to people when you are leaving, not while you're still around. It makes me feel bad because I live my life assuming few notice me and few care, and I live detached from others for those reasons. So with people tearing up and saying their goodbyes, I feel like some sort of weirdo who isn't upset. At least not yet. I tend to wear some pretty heavy armor when I'm at work, or around others in general. When I'm by myself, I might start to feel the saddness, the loss and the fear of what next?