My Beautiful Audience

So Blogger has a new function that allows you to view your audience stats. Here is a picture of where my readers are gauged by the tones of green (darker means more, lighter means less):

While I was very excited to see that people are actually reading my blog (or perhaps clicking on it on accident and not being able to click out of the site fast enough before google tallied their hit) I was surprised to find that my large pirate following wasn't addressed in the stats. So I added them here:

Perhaps blogger doesn't count the groups of pirates that hang out around the coast stealing Starbucks' internet so they can catch up on my latest post, but I won't make the same mistake (especially because pirates can be vicious when their feelings are hurt).

And just like blogger, perhaps my non-nautical reader doesn't believe this section of my readership exists, but I assure you that pirates have a long standing interest in my blog. Frankly, all the pirates of the rainbow have told me that they enjoy this blog including Bluebeard, Blackbeard, One-eyed Electric Lime, Crazy Captain Cerulean, Hot Hook-Hands Magenta and even Peg-leg Purple Mountain's Majesty. Perhaps you've made the mistake of believing that I've made up several of these pirates, but I suspect that once the cold hook hands of Hot Hook-Hands Magenta finds you in the middle of the night and the last thing you see before being blinded is a hot magenta mask and cape then you'd be willing to believe that these pirates are real. But if you still choose not believe me, consider that well documented pirates from across time and space have also enjoyed my ramblings such as Sir Francis Drake (totally a pirate - don't deny it), Anne Bonny and Calico Jack.

Why do pirates love my blog so much? Because just like a true pirate, I keep it real - and I love manatees.